THE BEAUTY OF THE EARTH

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow.  For what is your life?  It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."  (James 4:14)

EH, WHAT DO WE KNOW?

• WE SAY: It's impossible.  GOD SAYS: All things are possible.  (Luke 18:27) 
• WE SAY: I'm too tired.  GOD SAYS: I will give you rest.  (Matthew 11:28-30)
• WE SAY: Nobody really loves me.  GOD SAYS: I love you.  (John 3:16 and John 3:34)
• WE SAY: I can't go on.  GOD SAYS:  My grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9 and Psalm 91:15)
• WE SAY: I can't figure things out.  GOD SAYS: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5,6)
• WE SAY: I can't do it.  GOD SAYS: You can do all things.  (Philippians 4:13)
• WE SAY: I'm not able.  GOD SAYS: I am able.  (2 Corinthians 9:8)
• WE SAY: It's not worth it.  GOD SAYS: It will be worth it.  (Romans 8:28)
• WE SAY: I can't forgive myself.  GOD SAYS: I forgive you.  (I John 1:9 and Romans 8:1)
• WE SAY: I can't manage.  GOD SAYS: I will supply all your needs.  (Philippians 4:19)
• WE SAY: I'm afraid.  GOD SAYS: I have not given you the spirit of fear.  (2 Timothy 1:7)
• WE SAY: I'm always worried and frustrated.  GOD SAYS: Cast all your cares on ME.  (1 Peter 5:7)
• WE SAY: I'm not smart enough.  GOD SAYS: I give you wisdom.  (1 Corinthians 1:30)
• WE SAY: I feel all alone.  GODS SAYS: I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

God always has a positive thought for us.

I NEVER . . . I DIDN'T . . . I HADN'T . . . HOW ABOUT YOU?

Before I was a Mom -

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,

the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

PECANS-A-PLENTY CAKE

Hey, y'all! I recently came across this old recipe when I was decluttering. I use to make it when I was a young wife and mother. (It's been that long?) 

So now I'll make it as an old wife and mother. Haha!

"Beauty" and I baked this cake yesterday. We followed the recipe to the "T," except we forgot to use Self-Rising flour. Eh, the cake came out heavy, but edible. Kind of like Pecans-a-Plenty bars instead of cake. It wasn't as delicious as I remembered.  We are going to make it again, only next time we'll remember to use the right flour.

The recipe calls for baking in two 8 or 9-inch cake pans, and it actually looks a lot prettier if you bake it in the round.  We decided to take the easy route for time's sake, and we just put it in a 9x13 pan. (The recipe explains how to adjust the ingredients for a 9x13 pan.)

I encourage you to try it if you like pecans and cake. Just remember to use Self-Rising flour. ;)

(As always, you can find the directions in my RECIPES page near the top of my blog.)

CAN YOU READ THIS?

This is one of the many tricks to speed reading.

They teach you to look at the frsit and lsat letetr of a word and your brain will fill in the rest. Pretty cool.

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too.

Can you raed tihs? Olny 808 plepoe can to this point. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

SQUARE WATERMELONS

[The following information was taken from CNN.com/WORLD entitled, "Japan Corners the Market on Square Fruit" dated June 15, 2001 by Thom Patterson (CNN.com writer)]

Farmers in the southern Japanese town of Zentsuji have figured out how to grow their watermelons so they turn out square. It's not a fad. The technique actually has practical applications. "The reason they're doing this in Japan is because of lack of space," said Samantha Winters of the National Watermelon Promotion Board in Orlando, Florida.


A fat, round watermelon can take up a lot of room in a refrigerator, and the usually round fruit often sits awkwardly on refrigerator shelves. But clever Japanese farmers have solved this dilemma by forcing their watermelons to grow into a square shape. Farmers insert the melons into square, tempered glass cases while the fruit is still growing on the vine.


The square boxes are the exact dimensions of Japanese refrigerators, allowing full-grown watermelons to fit conveniently and precisely onto refrigerator shelves. But cubic fruit comes with a caveat:  Each square watermelon costs 10,000 yen, the equivalent of about $82.  Regular watermelons in Japan cost from $15 to $25 each.


Check out the video below to for directions on how to grow your own square watermelon.

A CHUCKLE 4U - "Good Eats"

A CHUCKLE 4U - "Brains"

MY PC AND ME

Ummm. . . yes, is this Desktop Support?? . . . Uh, yeah, my PC just crashed about 3 seconds ago . . . No, it is not running right now . . . Ummm, no I can not boot DOS . . . It probably will take awhile to bring it back up . . . Yep, it's down allright . . .

A CHUCKLE 4U - "Stick 'Em Up"

Snowman Stick UP

A REQUEST FROM SNOOPY

A BOOK REVIEW

Hey, y'all! Here's a good book if you like to be organized, which I do.  I can't think when there's a lot of clutter around me.  My brain gets foggy, and I just wanna sleep.  Anyone else feel like that?  Well, here are a few gems I gleaned from reading this book.

"Emmett's Basic Clutter Fact:  If you plan to get organized tomorrow, you've got to de-clutter today.  Getting organized when you're surrounded by clutter is so difficult, it's almost impossible.  But getting organized once your clutter is gone is almost effortless."  (p. 4)

Charlie used to think that if he spent a lot of money for an item, he'd better keep it forever -- whether it worked or not.  Then one day his wife said something to him that changed his attitude toward clutter.  "My wife wanted to throw out a computer that I bought long ago," he said, "and I didn't want to because it was so expensive when we bought it.  She said that whether we got it for free or paid a million dollars for it, it is still useless.  Keeping it for another century will not make it useful again." (p. 168)

If you wear it, hang it up.

If you drop it, pick it up.

If you eat out of it, wash it.

If you spill it, wipe it up.

If you turn it on, turn it off.

If you open it, close it.

If you move it, put it back.

If you break it, repair it.

If you empty it, fill it.

If it rings, answer it.

If it howls, feed it.

If it cries, love it.

(p, 95)

And finally, on p. 92, I discovered . . . How to Pack a Rummage-Proof Suitcase: 

[Kort] developed a packing system that works like a charm and completely eliminates all rummaging.  It requires a suitcase with a loop for hanging clothes.  When she packs the suitcase, she puts whatever she can on hangers - even her nightgown and her swimsuit coverup - and places other items in one-gallon plastic storage bags (for example, socks in one, underwear in another, panty hose in another).  When she gets to the hotel, it takes less than a half a minute to swoop all the hanging clothes into the closet and sweep all the plastic bags into a drawer.  Packing to go home is equally simple and quick.

 

You can be sure that the next time I'm out of town I'll be doing some "swooping" and "sweeping."  ;)

I enjoyed reading this book.  It was a very easy and short read.  Be sure to check out my review on my REVIEW page located near the top of this page.  Maybe you'll even get the book and read it for yourself.  I'm sure your local library will have it.  If not, they can usually special order it for you through the Inter-Library Loan (ILL) system. 

ARE YOU A GOOD PERSON?

  

MOMENTS

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.

Quiet moments, worship God.

Painful moments, trust God.

Every moment, thank God.

                                 (~Shelby Eborn)

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

One Sunday morning, an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn-out old hat and an equally worn, dog-eared Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and fine jewelry. As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled by his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship in church." The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the cowboy and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"And what was his reply?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that he didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said he'd never been in this church."

FAMILY

PICS

THREE AMIGOS

I wanted to show y'all a picture of the Goya brand seasonings I use (in my Lasagna, Fried Rice, and Egg Drop Soup recipes - just to name a few) Sofrito (sew-frito), Recaito (wreck-I-E-toe), and Sazon (sass-sewn).

I have found that our local HEB keeps these in stock along with a host of other delicious Goya products. These three are all under $3.oo. Do refrigerate the jars after opening and be careful to look for mold if you don't use them up, say, within a month. The mold in the red jar will be a creamy rose color, and you'll see little greenish white moldy spots in the green jar. I use ours up fairly quickly, so I've only ever seen the mold TWICE in my years of using it. It's important to always use a clean spoon when removing the paste from the jars. Don't stick your spoon in the spaghetti sauce and then into the jar without rinsing the spoon or you will contaminate what's in the jar.

My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law taught me how to use these three wonderful little seasonings on meats, and in beans and soups, too. My friend gave me a fabulous Jambalaya recipe and I used the green jar in it. It was SOOOOO GOOD! Our imagination is the only thing that limits us when it comes to adding flavor with these stellar seasonings. They are all great for marinating pork, chicken, shrimp, and beef with a little lime, lemon, or orange juice and oregano. Try some in your next pot of rice along with a cube of chicken, beef, or vegetable bouillon and some Rotel. A little goes a long way, and will really make the difference! I hope you will try them out.

 Hey, let me know if you try them and how you liked the results. It's okay if you don't like them, too. Tell me about it. My feelings won't be hurt. Promise! =)

YUM-O, LA-ZAG-NA

Okay, folks, yesterday it was Bratwurst and Cabbage with Sopapilla Cheesecake Pie and today it's Lasagna. Our son, Tallman, is home this week and I just might post our menu for the entire week. I've been known to do KrAZieR things than that, believe you me. Haha! We'll be having Dump Cake for dessert.

If you're interested you can find these recipes in my RECIPES page under my Stick Family.  =)

EVERYTHING NEW FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE

In the King James 1611 Bible, Revelation chapter 21 verses 1-5 says, "And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful."

"He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him."
(John 3:36 KJV)

LATE BLOG ENTRY

I have been meaning to blog about our new refrigerator since I got it. (I say "our" but all you ladies know I mean "MY." Haha! ;)

We've known for about 2 years that we were going to have to do the nasty job of buying another refrigerator. We have also been dreading it all that time saying, "We can get by with this one a little longer, right?" And that was truly fine until we pulled out the milk one morning and discovered we had the beginnings of a well-cultured bowl of cottage cheese starting in that jug. Yum-O!

Shortly, and I mean VERY shortly thereafter, hubby took me on a drive six days before my birthday. He pulled in to a Scratch and Dent store hiding in a corner. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be coming home with the sweet lil beauty you see below! =)

The ladybug magnets are covering the few dings she has. Other than those minor dents and a few scratches she is PERFECT - just like brand new! My hubby is quite the bargain hunter and haggler extraordinaire. He managed to get her for only a smidge more than we had budgeted for a much smaller (and less fabulous, might I say) fridge. We just tightened up the proverbial belt strings and "voila" - paid in full by the end of the month.
Now we have trouble keeping her stocked. There are always two or three empty shelves even after the groceries are put up. That works out just fine, however, because now I always have room for the leftovers after dinner. Haha! No more cramming and piling things in on top of each other 'til they holler.

I like being able to keep a whole gallon of milk in the door and I absolutely LOVE the deli meat keeper under the two crispers. It's neat having the freezer on the bottom, too.

Oh, and did I mention that her temperature controls are digital? She beeps when the door is left open. I'm convinced a woman thought of that feature. ;)

James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

Well, today I made two gallons of tea and two gallons of lemonade. I also cooked my Pappy's tasty Bratwurst and cabbage, and I baked a delicious dessert called Sopapilla Cheesecake Pie.
We are TOTALLY stuffed now.

Here's a few pics for your tummy's enjoyment.

(tea and lemonade not pictured. :)

Check out my RECIPES page (located under my Stick Family at the top of my blog) for these two wonderful recipes. I do hope you will try them out because they are simple and delish.

FAIR WARNING

Ok, world, I am trying to grow a plant. Yes, you heard correctly. The woman who can kill a plant by simply trying to water it, prune it, and/or plant its seed is stepping out of her comfort zone.

Two weeks ago a friend gave me an actual clipping of her Coleus plant. I brought it home and dutifully placed it in a small glass of water hoping for roots. Guess what? It sprouted roots! Oodles of 'em, to be sure.

Yesterday I bought a nice olive green pot from Walmart. Didn't sink too much money into it because, well, just in case it doesn't survive . . .

Next step? Call in a professional. That would be our son, O'Man. He dumped some of our home-spun compost into that pot o' mine, and then he settled little "Claudia" the Coleus into her new home. He wet her feet a little and then handed her over to me. (Next time I'LL do my own dirty work.) *blushing*

I did a bit of research and found out she is a shade loving plant. That's good to know because I was ready to take her out into the sizzling sun. Now she silently sits on my kitchen windowsill looking outside. Ain't she a cutie?

* Check out my CRAFTS/HOBBIES page under my guest book for some helpful info on how to care for a Coleus plant.

WORDS OF WISDOM

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

When you say, "I love you," mean it.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People without dreams don't have much vision.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Talk slowly, but think quickly.

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

Don't let a little dispute ruin a great friendship.

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Spend some time alone.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Don't judge people by their relatives.

When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

DON'T WORRY . . . BE HAPPY

Here's a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry - Be happy!
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry - Be happy!
Don't worry - Be happy now!

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Be happy
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry - Be happy!

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Be happy
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry - Be happy!

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry - Be happy!
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)- Be happy!
Look at me - I'm happy!

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Be happy
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Be happy
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo

Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
But don't worry - Be happy!
Cause when you worry Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry - Be happy!
Don't worry - Be happy now.

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Be happy
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry - Be happy!

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Be happy
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry - Be happy!

Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry - don't worry - don't do it - be happy!
00-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down like this
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry,
00-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
It will soon pass whatever it is
00-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Don't worry - Be happy!
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo

[Lyrics by: Bobby McFerrin]

MOM'S MEDAL OF HONOR

The chain is connected to a double stem referred to as the "Stem of Life". One stem represents the physical connection - the umbilical cord. The other stem represents the spiritual connection between mother and child that lasts a lifetime.

The diamond is the purest of all minerals; furthermore, the diamond is the hardest substance in the known universe. Therefore, the diamond was chosen for the centerpiece not only to represent the balance that mothers bring to the family, but also as an international symbol of strength, purity, and admiration.

Six hearts represent the six letters in the word MOTHER. All of the hearts point toward the diamond and form a star around the diamond. Just as the stars have guided the travelers for centuries, so have mothers guided their children.

The lines that radiate from the center are referred to as "rays of sacrifice" and symbolize the 365 days per year that mothers make sacrifices both large and small for the benefit of their children.

Finally, on the back are four simple but powerful words that sum up a child's sincere appreciation for a lifetime of love and guidance . . . "To Mother with Love".

A CHUCKLE 4U - "Universal Symbol for Marriage"

I saw this symbol on a cup insulator and it struck me as funny. Thought I'd share it with y'all.

A CHUCKLE 4U - "Friends"

Friends are like bras - close to the heart and always their for support.

If no one told you they love you today, you are hanging with the wrong people.

A CHUCKLE 4U - "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet away from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again, he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again, there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this! =)

"Chicken, Ralph! For the FIFTH TIME, CHICKEN!"

FUNNY SOUNDS ON THE WAY HOME

. . . and here is what caused all those funny sounds!

Can you see those two goofy eyeballs? They belong to our "Cutie." She does the craziest things for her little brother just to make him laugh and squeal and screech!

I ASKED FOR IT . . . AND BOY, DID I GET IT

I woke up this morning to check on Amorphophallus titanumi Corpse Flower Lois and to my surprise this is what I found!!!!!! =P

Be sure to TURN UP the volume on this clip (or your computer) and turn DOWN (or mute) the volume on my playlist at the bottom of my blog. If you don't do this, the music on my blog will interfere with this video's song.

FYI - The volume and mute button are located beneath the two exclamation marks in the upper right-hand corner of the playlist box. Click on the volume lever and drag it downward or just click on the "speaker" looking button to mute. Easy, Cheesy, Peasy, right? :)


A Song For Lois [Amorphophallus titanum] from HMNS on Vimeo.


Ode to Lois
Written and performed by Kelsey Williams

Get up extra early, just to see
That totally awesome flower that’s taller than you or me
She sits in the Butterfly Center at HMNS
When she blooms you’ll smell her for a half mile radius
Oh, Lois. Come on and let your corpse-smell flow-is.
Open up your petals and show us.
Cuz we’ve been waiting one whole week
Runnin up flights of stairs to get a peek
Of Lois. Come on and let your corpse-smell flow-is.
Runnin out of words that rhyme with Lois.
La la la la la la la la grow for us.

Hurry up and bloom, alright? Or else they’re gonna start a fight
Cuz they’ve been waiting a while in line, to get a glimpse for which they pine
Of everybody’s favorite plant
Thanks for putting up with my rant
And thanks most of all, to Lois!

Lois is quite a muse! in addition to inspiring this song, she’s also inspired more than 3 dozen haiku! Watch her on our Corpse Flower webcam any time – and she if she inspires you, too.

AMORPHOPHALLUS TITANUMI

[Be warned: this post is written with tongue in cheek and should be read as such.]

I want y'all to think for a minute. What girl hasn't wished for a beautiful song to be written about her? A song dedicated to her timeless beauty. A song extolling her many virtues. A song she can call her own. Ahhhhh, a song envied by all other girls. *long, slow, and deep inhalation followed by a quick exhale*
I have dreamed of that kind of song for myself. Alas, there are none to be found. Oh, sure, there are those songs that make mention of Superman and Lois Lane, but that doesn't count. I can't call them mine - they were not written FOR ME. *Chanting: I must not allow bitterness to settle within my heart. I must not. Also, biting my fingers in exaggeration like they do in the movies, closing my eyes, and turning my face away*
Cheer up, friends! I may not have a famous song written about me, nor for me, nor even vaguely hinting of my effervescence and style. But I do have this one thing . . . Amorphophallus titanumi. *Aha! Bet you can't say that. Literally!*

You may be asking, "What is Amorphophallus titanumi?"

You may be saying, "Why, that sounds AMAZING? I wish I had one!"

You may even be a LIT-tle bit jealous that you don't have one of your own - exclaiming, "I want one! I want one, too! And I want it NOW!!!!!" *stamping your feet and adopting a sour expression*

Relax. I do not wish for you to remain in suspenders. Uh, no, I mean in suspense. I will now reveal what Amorphophallus titanumi is. It is a flower. But wait! It is not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill flower. This flower reaches heights of 7-10 feet and has a diameter of 5-6 feet. This floral beauty is one of the largest and rarest flowers in the world!

Actually, it is quite a "celebrity" among the plant community, *taking on a deep, braggadocios radio voice and a smug appearance with one eyebrow lifted slightly higher than the other as I slant my head to one side like a cockatoo while continuing to speak* AND she is affectionately referred to as "Lois." (Don't you wish you were me?)

Check out this photo.
This specimen is on display in the Cockrell Butterfly Center at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. *Ooooh's and ahhhh's* She is quite the diva. My sources tell me that she was expected to be in full bloom over the weekend between July 9 - 11, 2010, but she hasn't done so as of the writing of this post. People are FLOCKING from all directions just to get a glimpse of her. She is being blogged about. You can watch her grow live on web cam. She even twitters! Yes, all eyes are on her. The crowds are out of control! Amorphophallus titanumi . . . Lois fever has hit the great state of Texas. Dare I say . . . the nation, as well?

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! With such an exquisite, priceless, and rare flower as this bearing MY name, I say, 'Who needs a song written about them?' " *In case you didn't get it, this laughter and question are to be read as if they were malicious, taunting, and umm, what's that word? Oh yeah, boastful.*

TIME OUT/CUT/STOP THE PRESSES: Uh, this is kinda embarrassing after all the hoopla I have tried to generate about Amorphophallus titanumi . . . Lois. After I probably made you feel really sad that YOU don't have a rare flower named after you *Nanny, nanny boo boo!* After I laid claim to such awesomeness *Avert your eyes! I have not given you permission to look upon me.* And, after I sorta left out some important information regarding her COMPLETE NAME and description *Well, of course Officer, I saw the speed limit sign. Ahem. I just didn't see YOU.*

Oh, don't get me wrong, everything I've said about her is accurate, but do you see those three little dots between Amorphophallus titanumi and Lois? That's called an ellipsis. It is a mark showing an intentional omission. In other words, I left something out on purpose. I left out the words, "Corpse Flower." And, did I forget to say that along with being one of the largest and rarest flowers in the world, she is also one of the SMELLIEST. *P. U.*

Okay. So now you know "the rest of the story." As you can see, you really DON'T have anything of which to be jealous. I've misled you, this is true, but I am still without a song. Are you satisfied now? Huh? You who probably has 2 or 3 songs of which you could call your own. *Who's smug now? Yeah, yeah.*

I should've said Amorphophallus titanumi: Corpse Flower "Lois" right from the start. But I didn't. *making a really dumb, sarcastic "duh!" face with crossed and bulging eyes* We all know what a corpse is. Sooooo, in short, this flower (whose description as defined by the Oxford American dictionary is a dead body) shares my name. Now tell me, how romantic is that? Oh, and did I mention that when this Amorphophallus titanumi Corpse Flower "Lois" blooms she is gonna smell like the grave? *Yum-O!* Can you believe the masses are just DYING *pun intended* to bombard their nostrils with her stench? They are waiting with great anticipation, and they are actually PAYING to be able to do so. There is no limit to their devotion. They've even made buttons and T-shirts to commemorate the occasion! Oh, don't believe me? Well, I have proof. Just look for yerself, kiddo.

*I bet I could find a super cute jacket on which to wear that "I LOVE LOIS" button.* =)

Looks like the gig's up. I knew you'd find out sooner or later. It was fun while it lasted, though. Haha!

Well, I hope you got a laugh or two at my expense. If not, and you are sitting there . . . just sitting there . . . don't worry. Be happy! You'll be your normal, stuffy self any moment now. And hey, for all you plant lovers, curious people, and folks with nuttin' better to do - you can learn more about this unique flower by checking out the links below. See ya and thanks for stoppin' by! =)

http://blog.hmns.org/?tag=lois

www.hmnsmedia.org/CorpseFlower/

SLEEPLESS ON THE GULF COAST

Guess who woke up at 2:20 this morning? Yep. You guessed it, our little man.  I thought you might like to see some of the pictures I took of him bouncing up and down in his crib looking as adorable as a baby can look.

Ain't he a stinker??

AAHHH, CHOCOLATE

This afternoon my son and I made these cookies. I mixed up the ingredients (the FUN part), he baked them (the HARD part), and we all ate them (the BEST part). Of course, the most delicious way to wash these babies down is with a cute little glass of semi-sweet chocolate chips! Who needs milk?? =)

You can find this recipe in my RECIPE page under my Stick Family. Look for CHOCOLATE CHIPPY, NUTTY, COCONUTTY COOKIES.

LASIK UPDATE

Well, hubby seems to feel that the LASIK surgery was a success! He is very happy with the results. Only one small "tweak" needs to be made to help get his close range vision up to speed. He has to give it a month, but if it hasn't cleared up by then, he will most likely be going under the laser again. He does need to use eye drops several times each day, but that's a small inconvenience considering he now has 20/15 eyesight!

As for me? Well, lets just say I'll be sportin' these beauties awhile longer. =)